School:
A place where Papa pays
and Son plays.
Life Insurance:
and Son plays.
Life Insurance:
A contract that
keeps you poor all your life so
that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
keeps you poor all your life so
that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
A person who wakes u up
to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage:
to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage:
It's an agreement in
which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce:
which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.
Tears:
Tears:
The hydraulic force by
which masculine willpower is
defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture:
which masculine willpower is
defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture:
An art of transferring
information from the notes of
the Lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through
"the minds of either"
Conference:
information from the notes of
the Lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through
"the minds of either"
Conference:
The confusion of one
man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:
man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a
cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary :
cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary :
A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room :
Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
Father:
everybody disagrees later on.
Father:
A banker provided by
nature.
Criminal:
nature.
Criminal:
A guy no different from
the rest....except that he got
caught.
Boss:
the rest....except that he got
caught.
Boss:
Someone who is early when
you are late and late when you
are early.
Politician :
you are late and late when you
are early.
Politician :
One who shakes your
hand before elections and your
Confidence after.
Doctor :
hand before elections and your
Confidence after.
Doctor :
A person who kills your
ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic:
ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic:
Books, which people
praise, but do not read.
Smile:
praise, but do not read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot
of things straight.
of things straight.
Office:
A place where you can
relax after your strenuous home
life.
Yawn:
relax after your strenuous home
life.
Yawn:
The only time some
married men ever get to open
their mouth.
Etc.:
married men ever get to open
their mouth.
Etc.:
A sign to make others
believe that you know more than
you actually do.
Committee :
believe that you know more than
you actually do.
Committee :
Individuals who can
do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:
do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:
The name men give
to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end
all inventions.
Philosopher:
all inventions.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments
himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead .
himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead .
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