As I've Matured

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.

All you can do is stalk them

and hope they panic and give in...

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,

some people are just jackasses.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,

and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan

will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you shouldn't

compare yourself to others -

they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that depression is merely

anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that it is not what you wear;

it is how you take it off.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting

long after you think you're finished.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things,

and not pet the sweaty things.

I've learned that ex's are like fungus,

and keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price

to pay for maturity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity,

I enjoy it.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,

unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that artificial intelligence

is no match for naturalstupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time

when something isn't working in your house,

one of your kids did it

I've learned that there is a fine line

between genius and insanity.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life

are taken from you too soon

and all the less important ones just never go away.

And the real pains in the ass are permanent.